People who are actively making new acquaintances have learned to get over failures philosophically. But what if it happens to you for the first time? What if you had high hopes for a new acquaintance, and he just disappeared?
No matter what they say, rejection hurts and affects self-esteem and pride. Romantic relationships, even virtual ones, are an area in which we open up to a person in a certain way and run the risk of receiving an unexpected moral blow. On dating websites, this happens all the time.
The most dangerous consequence of such failure is the feeling that you are not good enough or the emergence of an inferiority complex that you begin to transfer to your next acquaintances and to real life. This is not worth doing, and we will explain why.
Table of Contents
- Failure Perception Rules
- 1. Sympathy is a subjective concept
- 2. Those who reject you simply do not suit you
- 3. He, who does nothing, makes no mistakes
- 4. There is always an alternative
- 5. Everybody experiences love that is not mutual
- 6. When one thing ends, something new begins
- Ghosting is leaving without saying ‘Goodbye’
Failure Perception Rules
There are several main points that everyone should remember. They help to cope with any failure and separation, both virtual and real.
1. Sympathy is a subjective concept
It is easier and more understandable if the object of your dreams and hopes says that he has feelings for another person or is generally not willing to have a relationship at the moment. It is more difficult if the tactless “You are not in my taste” became the reason. A similar explanation can give rise to a lot of complexes.
It is worth remembering that this expression does not apply to you. What one guy considers a disadvantage can be a reason for genuine admiration for another. It is his taste, not your fault, and these subjective preferences should not be taken personally.
2. Those who reject you simply do not suit you
We tend to idealize people and often consider each new acquaintance to be the “right person.” This is often not the case, and the object of your admiration demonstrates this with his/her behavior.
If you have been rejected, this can only mean one thing – this person categorically does not suit you. Why do you need a person who needs to be convinced of your exclusivity and that you are worthy of love?
3. He, who does nothing, makes no mistakes
If you are actively trying to get to know each other and start a relationship, you will inevitably have cases of such “failures”. These are just statistics that everyone faces in such a situation. It does not mean anything about you and your personal qualities.
Therefore, do not react emotionally to the fact that you were rejected on a dating website. It is important not to dwell on this, to react positively, and move on quickly, making new attempts to find your happiness. They will surely be successful.
4. There is always an alternative
It is foolish to consider one person “unique”, even if you were sure that it was “your soulmate”. There are billions of men and women in the world. Do you really think there is no one who will be interested in you or who would really love you?
5. Everybody experiences love that is not mutual
The most desirable women and the most magnificent men in the world suffered from this feeling. Mixed with resentment and love, anger towards a person, who has stopped loving you or initially did not plan anything with you, is normal. You just need to go through this. Memories of this will remain, but later you will recall this without emotion.
6. When one thing ends, something new begins
Sometime later, you will probably be grateful to a person who has rejected you. After all, he/she gave you a chance to begin a new relationship, certain freedom, and the opportunity to meet someone who will truly appreciate and love you. Almost all men and women who survived the breakup later recalled this experience with gratitude because if there hadn’t been a breakup, they would not have found new happiness.
Ghosting is leaving without saying ‘Goodbye’
This phenomenon is especially common on dating websites. A man (less often, a woman) simply vanishes in virtual space without explanation. Such a breakup may become the most painful and lengthy due to its uncertainty.
Here is an example. The girl meets a man online with whom she can talk about everything in the world, who understands her perfectly and seems to be created for her. After some time of pleasant remote communication, when a real date may have already been set, the man disappears without a trace. He does not keep in touch. He either doesn’t go online from the usual account or is online but doesn’t read your messages and does not reply to them.
What shall you think about this? You can assume anything, including the worst-case scenario or a business trip. But in reality, things are often much simpler. This phenomenon has a name. This is ghosting. The missing person is absolutely fine. This is his/her way of breaking up.
Ghosting involves sudden disappearance of a subscriber with whom you have chatted for a long time on the Internet, on a dating website, or on a social network. Usually, ghosts disappear on all communication channels known to you, abruptly ending the communication without explanation. The prerequisites for this are usually not obvious, it comes as a surprise, and it’s very unpleasant and incomprehensible.
It is this factor of “unresolved relationship” that is capable of causing maximum mental anguish. You do not understand where the man disappeared, what happened to him or why he did this to you. Attempts to find out some information about him usually lead to nothing, because on dating websites it is possible to have many different accounts with a minimum of personal information.
In fact, everything is simple – from the point of view of the missing person, your relationship has exhausted itself. And he did not want to explain anything, wasting his time and energy. However, he has not spared you. The person has evaporated, luckily, it is very easy to do so in virtual space.
Whatever way you are rejected on dating websites, directly or indirectly, through ghosting, this can only mean one thing – this person is not right for you. Try to stay positive, do not get overwhelmed with this, make new friends, and find your love.
This article was prepared on the basis of online video chat CooMeet.